Monday 27 December 2010

Secret Agent:The Forests of Finland Part 1/4




At times Sven's work was predictable....

 Yes, different escape route....
...but same bullets...always inscribed with the same name....Sven....
Other than being shot at, the only other affliction Sven feared sustaining was repetitive mental injury-what is commonly referred to as boredom...
In actual fact, it was if Sven was treading in the same footsteps of Icelandic Secret Agents preceding him....

80 years ago...
They were getting closer....

and Professor Utforska knew it....
Poisoned darts...clubs...bows and arrows...an anthropologist's definition of fun...
Professor Utforska nervously hoped that swimming wasn't a universal skill but only limited to Scandinavians...

Phew!
Elevator music. Why couldn't they play something triumphant whenever Sven victoriously returned from a mission not lounge music.
Present day Iceland Secret Service HQ...in an elevator-going up...
Miss Sekretare:Travelling anywhere exciting for you next holiday, Sven?
Double 0 Sven:What's the point. I get sent to exotic places when on mission. And I don't even get to collect the air miles because it is always top secret so I can never present the ticket!
Miss Sekretare:Well your next mission is rumoured to be more than normal-paranormal....
Just that instant Magnus entered...

Magnus:You overheard correctly Miss Sekretare, Double 0 Sven's  mission requires him to delve into mysterious forests of Finland....It's local so no need to feel that you are mising out on the airmiles.s

To be Continued...

Thursday 23 December 2010

Secret Agent:Richer than Midas Part 1/4

Magnus:Double 0 Sven, you were selected for this mission because you are renowned for your stealth and silence...

 You must safely deposit a book of untold significance - a book so important that....
 I forgot to return it to the library about a year ago and for which the fine is 100 Krone!
 Make sure you do not draw the librarian's attention when you slip it back onto its the shelf. That way when she argues with me on the phone, I can just ask her to search the reference section more thoroughly next time....

After Sven had slipped the overdue book in a discrete gap on the shelf, he turned in supressed disbelief. There stood before him a SMORGES Board henchman. He had unwittingly been followed from the Ancient Civilisation Section to the I.T Section.
Run but be mindful at the same time of the other readers!
The SMORGES Board must have known that the book would eventually be returned and had therefore stationed a henchman to snare Sven!

 Sven ran for his life! Now he knew what to buy Magnus next Christmas-a Kindl-so he he could download books instead of jeopardising Sven on nonsense.
 The henchman's footsteps were growing louder. maybe the librarian would intervene and tell him to be quieter but then he had probably already thought of that. Sven noticed the silencer peeking out from his jacket....
 Would Sven make it to the biography section....?
 Or would he himself become a biography title in the history section?
 Sven hid and waited....
He had a brilliant idea that you didn't need to find in a book.
 .....
 WAM!


 Magnus:Did you return the book unnoticed...?
Double 0 Sven:Yes....sort of....
 Magnus ushered Sven into the Icelandic Secret Service Bar.
 Magnus:For your next mission Sven, you will have to investigate a gentleman called Mr Narras. He appears to be extremely wealthy. So wealthy that some claim he is richer than Midas! The reason why he has appeared on our radar screen is because  he has been arriving at the Icelandic bank with crisp Krone notes and trading it in...for gold....


 You need to establish the origin of  these Krone money notes. They are certainly not natural because the Icelandic bank now has a surplus of cash....You do the maths....


Double 0 Sven:Maths is not my speciality but counterfeiting is....

To be Continued...

Wednesday 15 December 2010

Secret Agent:Norwegian Chalice Part 1/3


Sven was not at all anxious whilst on mission in Hveragerdi....

 In fact, the only major threat that was alcohol poisoning....


 Double 0 Sven:One more Swedish berry juice- iced not heated....
 Bar Maid:You've already used up all the ice, sir.
 Double 0 Sven:Then I'll just take the bill.

 Sven could make out an old acquaintance in the bar mirror.
Double 0 Sven:Doesn't the SMORGES Board give you time off for Christmas?

Mr Forradar:You didn't heed our warning when we mailed you those bullets?
Double 0 Sven: Oh, I just thought that was my secret Santa.
By the way, you weren't that discrete when you tailed me here...



Mr Forradar:I shouldn't have applied after shave this morning....
Anyway, the good news is I'm not here to get rid of you. I've come with a proposition....

Let's discuss it in detail over a game of snooker. You can be red.
Have you ever heard of the....
Norwegian Chalice?



To be Continued...